Invader Dib: Entering Zim's Florpus
by julysunicorn
Summary: when the entire earth is teleported into the far, dangerous reaches of space, a young man and his alien nemesis must save the day... utilizing the former's "hockey stick." ZADR. complete.
1. Act I

howdy ladies and gentlemen! :D here we are with a new story for you, invader dib: entering zim's florpus! so as you can probably tell i saw enter the florpus in august. man it was great! i highly recommend you watch it before reading this (there are some small spoilets for the movie) but hey its your life i won't tell you what to do. i will say though that dib is 18, i just wanted to make that clear i see a lot of people writing stuff or drawing stuff for iz and dib is, like, going down on zim or drinking at a strip club or bar and he still looks like a kid, and no one specifieds that he's older... it just really freaks me out so i wanted to state for the record, DIB IS 18 IN THIS STORY! thank you! :D this is a pretty short story (only 3 chapters and i wrote all of it shortly after seeing itf, but i thought id post it. oh anf also after i finished writing it, i remembered that (SPOILERS!) minimoose was techjnically the remote fir the membraceletes, but i... i just couldnt rewrite the story to honor that, considering what happens... read it, if you like, and you'll understand. sorry about that oversight but i think it's for the best. anyway hope you have a great day and enjoy!

EDIT: oops i totally forgot to add in the horizontal lines! sorry for the confusion, all chapters are fixed now. c:

invader dib: entering zim's florpus

act I

"YES!" zim screeched, waving his fists in the air. "I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY HARNESED THE POWER OF THE MEMBRACELET AND HAVE MPOVED THE EARTH INTO THE PATH OF THE IRKEN ARMADA! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!"

just then, he dropped the remote for the bracelets. "HEH?!" he scrambled to catch it, but it fell into his vagina. "OH... UH OH."

* * *

MEANWHILE, dib membrane was looking outside his window! he couldn't see thje sun anymore! there were numerous planets he didn't recognize though.

"this must be zim's doing!" he surmised, and ran off to confront him. he ran through the suburban streets and found the cul de asc where the alien lived, and found his blue house and knocked on the door. "OPEN UP, ZIM! I KNOW YOU MOVED THE EARTH!"

"UH, NO SOLICITORS PLEASE, GO AWAY LITTLE GIRL" called zim from inside. he didn't even try to disguise his voice. it was obvious it was him.

"don't play dumb with me, zim!" dib snapped. he grabbed the doorknob and started rattling it. "OPEN UP!"

"NO!"

suddenly zim's roboparents answered the door. it swung wide oipen as they sang, "welcome home son!"

dib rushed past them, but stopped in his tracks. "EWW!" there, on the couch, was zim, elbow deep in his own crotch.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!" dib screamed.

"I'M TRYING TO GET THE REMOTE!" zim replied. "IT FELL IN!"

dib stepped backward in horror. "i didn't even know you had anything there...?!"

"WELL MY POOP HAS TO COME OUT OF SOMEWHERE DONT YOU THINK"

dib walked over to the couch. "so... you lost your tv remote... in your whoozawhatsis." he pointed at it.

"ITS NOT THE REMOTE FOR THE TV YOU NIMROD" zim said slapping dib's hand away and getting up and running into the kitchen. "GET AWAY FROM MY FLORPUS!"

dib went back home, mulling everything over in his mind. then he looked in the sky. not only could he see the irken armada approaching the planet, but he could also see a GIANT BLACK HOLE on the other side of the PLANET!

"OAUGH, MAN!" he exclaimed. he ran into his house and down to the basement where his father, world-renowned scientist professor membrane, was soldering something at his workbench. "DAD!" he shouted, knocking over a paint can. "THE WORLD IS IN DANGER!"

"i know son" he said calmly. "the world is always in danger! that's why i, professor membrane, am herre to help!"

"no, look outside!" dib said.

his father poulled down a viewfinder and looked through it. "great scot..."

"what is it?!"

"it appears to be some kind of quantum singularity," memnrane said. "only there is matter inside - incredible! it seems to lead to _other wordls!_" he pished the viewfinder back up and scratched his chin through his colar. "but how could i have missed such a thing developing?"

"our entire planet has MOVED, dad!" dib explained. "i think zim's responsible!"

"your little foreign friend back from elementary school?" membrane asked. "what would he have to do with this?"

"well, i... don't know. but i did visit his house to interrogate him but i didn't get to talk much with him, he said he had a remote stuck in his hooha..." dib's eyes went wide. "... _HOOHA._"

* * *

dib had to get zim to his father's lab for a pelvic exam, but how? then a light bulb went off over his head: he got gir's help by promosing to make him tacos for dinner and they dragged zim to the membrane abode.

"LET GO OF ME! ZIM WANTS YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HIS BODY!" the alien shrieked.

"belive me, i wouldn't be touching you if i didn't have to," dib snapped.

truthfully, though, something inside dib had changed during these last few years, now that they were in high school and his testicles finally dropped. instead of thinking of girls like almost allthe other boys (except torque who had fallen head over heels for keef, but keef liked zim, but it was unrequited and he cried himself to sleep at night, dib would always see him in his room crying under the covers as he sat in a tree with his binoculars doing "research") dib had started thinking about zim. many times he had caught himself daydreaming about what it would be like to touch his green skin, stroke his antennae. if zim was as good with that tongue as he seemed to be whenever he licked a camera. but dib would slap himself, tell himself that he was lusting after a goshdarned alien of all things, and he was a paranormal investigator, and shouldn't fall for his nemesis.

but the thoughts kept returning.

zim wriggled out of dib and gir's grip and flopped on the sidewalk. "WHAT DO YOU WANT OF ZIM?!"

"i'm gonna find out what you have to do with this whole thing, with the earth moving and that black hole in the sky!"

"THAT IS NO BLACK HOLE" zim snapped. "IT IS CALLED-" he doubled over, screaming, and clutching between his legs. "AAAAAHHHHH! MY FLORPUS!"

"florpus?" dib asked.

"YES, ALRIGHT?! THE THING IN THE SKY IS A FLORPUS HOLE! IT WILL SEND EARTH TO ANOTHER DIMENSION. IT IS A SIDE EFFECT OF TRANSPORTING THE ENTIRE PLANET. THE REMOTE IN MY BODY IS FOR THE PEACE BRACELETS. ARE YOU HAPPY?"

"but why did you call your fanny a florpus?"

"THEY SHARE THE SAME WORD ON IRK - OH, DOOKIE! THIS HURTS!"

"c'mon, gir," dib said concerned, gently taking zim under his arm, "help me get him to the lab. don';t worry, zim, we'll get this straightened out."

between gasps, zim said, "WHY... ARE YOU HELPING ME... HUMAN FILTH?"

dib looked at the ground. "ask me later."

* * *

"here you are, sweetie," said membrane, handing his daughter gaz a pair of elbow-length gloves.

"thanks, dad," she said, and slipped them on, then walked over to zim who was on an examining table with his feet in stirrups. "shut up and open wide, asshole."

"MY LEGS ARE ALREADY- AAAA!" zim yelled as gaz stuck her ice cold hands inside his hootenanny.

"i said, shut up."

everyone agreed that it should be gaz who performed the exam, since she actually had feminine parts and would better know which turns to take while exploring the dark caverns of zim's groin. prof membrane and gir stood next to her, observing closely, while dib sat as far away as possible, not wanting to be rude and stare at zim's florpus, as he knew his eyes would immediately be drawn to it like a magnet.

"this thing is digusting," gaz said, then shrieked. "is this POOP?!"

"it seems ikrens have something closer to a cloaca than a true vagina" said prf membrane.

"I LOVE CLOACAS!" gir playfully said, waving his hands and smiling.

"SHUT UP, GIR!" zim said. "THEY DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOU'VE WANDERED INTO THIS THING AND GOTTEN YOURSELF STUCK FOR DAYS!"

"_days?!_" dib asked, scared.

"IT IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE."

"that sounds like something outta science fiction."

"OKAY, FINE," zim began, "WHEN I AM IN HEAT, THE WALLS OF MY FLORPUS MELT AND BECOME HIGHLY STICKY, MUCH LIKE A VERY SOFT BUBBLEGUM. THAT IS WHY THE REMOTE IS AS STUCK AS IT IS."

"found it" said gaz, and got ahold of the remote. without warning, she tried to yank it out, but it wouldn't budge! zim began screaming in pain! "come on, you vile hole of doom... give it up."

"gaz, stop! you're hurting him!" dib cried, running over and grabbing her arms. zim went limp on the table and began drooling over himself.

"well, i don't think we'll be removing it right now," said prof membrane. "it's stuck fast."

"then how will we get earth away from the florpus?" asked dib.

prof membrane sighed. he looked at his son, pain clear on what little of his face was exposed. "son," he said, setting his hand on his shoulder, "... we're going to need your penis."

END OF ACT I~


	2. Act II

act II

"my penis?!" dib asked, bewildered. "wh-wh-why?"

"dib has a penis?" gaz shuddered. "gross."

"allow me to explain son" said prof membrane. he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "extracting the remote from the cloaca isn't going to work. you will need to have sex with zim and operate the remote with your penis in order to save earth from the armada and the florpus."

"WHAT DOES MY FLORPUS HAVE TO DO WITH THAT...?" asked zim.

"no, i meant the singularity, zim."

"OH." after a brief pause, zim realized just what the professor was suggesting. "WAIT! ZIM WILL NOT ALLOW THE DIB-PIG TO TRAVERSE HIS LOINS!"

"wh-what makes you think i want to?!" asked dib, but he did indeed want to. he could practically hear his name being called from deep within zim's muffler. _dib... diiiiiib..._

"you two, please!" prof membrane begged. "the fate of the world is at stake!"

dib couldn't force himself on zim, as he was a gentleman. he came up with a solution. "zim, listen. this is all your fault, but we need to work togewther to stop it. i understand that you hate me, but maybe we can get to know each other a little better, so doing this won't be as hard on you."

zim was screaming, but stopped to consider dib's words. "... TAKE ME FOR A SUNDAE, AND I'LL THINK ABOUT IT."

gaz tried to remove her hands from zim, but her gloves got stuck. it took her father, brother, and gir all pulling on her arms to free her. once zi got dressed, dib took him out on the town.

* * *

the two rivals went to a neabry friendly's ice cream parlor and got a booth. dib kicked his now-extremely-long legs - he was now nearly as tall as his father - and tried to think of a topic to discuss. the silence at the table was deafening and he started sweating.

just as he tried to speak, zim said, "HAVE YOU EVER EVEN _HAD_ SEX, DIB? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO?"

the family in the booth behind them looked over in shock. blushing bright red, dib fell over the table and hid his head under his arms. "geez, zim, we're in a _family restaurant._"

"ANSWER ZIM'S QUESTION!"

"alright, alright!" dib looked around, embarrassed. "... i-i have."

"REALLY?" zim was surprised, then narrowed his eyes at the human. "WHEN?"

"i... i've been seeing a girl since freshman year."

"WHAT'S HER NAME?"

dib glared at zim. "i'm not gonna tell you that!"

"WELL, THEN, HOW DO I KNOW SHE'S REAL?" zim folded his arms and grinned smugly at him. "YOU COULD JUST BE MAKING IT UP."

dib sighed, but then a pimpled waiter came to the table in the nick of time, giving dib a few moments to build a response. "welcome to friendly's my name is todd what can i get you"

"UH, YEAH, CAN I GET A CANDY SHOPPE SUNDAE?" asked zim.

"we don't serve those anymore sir"

"WHAT?!" zim jumped up on the table, pointing at todd threatenignly. "THAT WAS THE BEST SUNDAE ON THE MENU! HOW DARE YOU STOP SERVING IT!"

"zim, relax!" dib said, then turned to todd. "he'll have the monster sundae, and i'll have a funny face, please."

todd left to place the order with the cook and zim sank back down into his booth. "SO?"

"so, what?" dib asked.

"WHATS THE NAME OF YOUR GIRLFERIEND?"

"oh, yeah, that..." dib crossed his arms. "... rosie."

"ROSIE? WHAT, DOES SHE LIVE IN A GREENHOUSE?"

"no! she's real, and i see her regularly!"

"HOW COME I'VE NEVER SEEN HER WITH YOU THEN?"

"we're very private."

"WHAT'S HER LAST NAME?" zim asked, his mouth curling into a smile.

"pom."

"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FAKE NAME."

"like you would know! you're an alien!"

"YOU'RE LYING!" zim screeched, pointing at dib, but the investigator didn't know if he meant it about the girlfriend or his being an alien.

just then, todd came back with their ice creams. "here you both go" he said and set down the sundaes. zim took one look at his green mint monster sundae and cried out in shock.

"HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME THIS! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OFFENDED!" he said, before swatting the cup over, sending mint scoops across the table, and ran away screaming as hot fudge fribbled out after the ice cream.

dib sihged and got out his wallet. "check, please."

* * *

dib stormed home, upset at how his time had been wasted. he went to his room and sulked on his bed.

there was a knock at his door. "son, it's me."

"come in, dad"

prof membrane walked in and closed the door behind him. he looked at his son, concerned. "how did it go?"

"he freaked out over ice cream and ran away."

"one of those, eh?" he sat next to dib.

"dad, i doin't think this is gonna work," said dib. "zim and i just aren't compatible."

"son, we are past compatibility at this point," prof membrane said firmly. "the world needs your weenie right now."

seeing dib keep his arms folded in silence, the professor sighed. "or... i guess i'll have to do it."

dib looked at his father. "what do you mean?"

"son, i am prepared to sleep with zim if it means you and your sister will be safe." he scratched his head. "except, i not only replaced my arms with cybernetic ones, but my weenie is also cybernetic, and can lift three tons if i will it, and your friend _is_ very small..."

dib swallowed. if his dad had sex with zim, there was a good chance he would end up ripping the alien to pieces. prof membrane got up from the bed after patting his son's knee. "well, i guess i'll just have to be careful. off i go!"

"no, wait, dad!" dib cried, and his father stopped before the door. "i-i'll do it. i just... don't know how."

"you've known him almost half your life," said membrane. "surely you know how to get him to warm up to you."

"i..." dib began crying softly. "... i don't know."

membrane comforted him. "son... why are you getting so upset? we'll save the world, don't worry."

"no, it's not that," dib said, then bit his lip. "i _love_ him."

"you _do?_"

"it just sort of happened... and it hurts so much that he doesn't want me back."

"oh, son," prof membrane said, holding his son's head, "i've been there, too. maybe he really does like you, only the two of you have always been at odds, so he isn't sure if you feel the same way."

"i don't know about that."

"well, if you really want to find out, you've got to break the ice," he said. "be straight with him. tell him how you really feel, and see what happens."

dib thought about it, and a wide grin crossed his face. he hugged his father. "thanks, dad!" he jumped off his bed and ran off into town to find zim.

* * *

dib found zim on the boardwalk, sitting on a bench, overlooking the waves. his arms were crossed and he was glaring, his brow low into his face. dib stood next to the bench but zim didn't look at him.

"hey, uh... i'm sorry about what happened back there." dib looked down at the ground.

"WHY MUST THIS BE FOR ZIM?!" zim shouted. "HOW COULD MY TALLEST ABANDON ME ON THIS PLANET? I THOUGHT THEY CARED FOR ZIM!"

dib looked up at him. "what are you talking about?"

"THE ALMGIHTY TALLEST SENT ME HERE UNDER THE GUISE THAT THIS WAS A SPECIAL MISSION" zim's lip began quivering, "BUT IT TURNED OUT THEY ONLY WISHED TO GET RID OF ME. NO ONE LOVES ME. NO ONE LOVES ZIM."

dib carefully sat next to him. "i love you, zim."

the alien's eyes were starting to well up, but he snapped his head up to look at dib. "HEH?!"

"zim, i... when you first came here, i was determined to get you on an autopsy table. i wanted so desperately to defeat you. i hated you more than i could have ever thougt possible. but, then... as time went on... i sort of grew to appreciate your antics."

"HEH?!"

"the tallest might not value you, but i do. your undying optimism kept me strong through high school. throuhg everything i endured at home. because if you, an alien so far from home, cast away by your own people to die, could still believe in himself, that meant i could, too. it meant that nothing is impossible." dib took zim's hands in his, under the sky full of other planets and lightning from the threatening florpus and the irken armada so close by. "you mean the world to me, zim. and while i can't let you have earth, i can let you have something just as important to me: my heart."

zim looked into dib's eyes, and smiled as tears streamed down his face. "I... THINK I CAN LEARN... TO LOVE A HUMAN."

they embraced eachother and began necking intensively. dib's legs twitched on reflex and zim ripped his shirt off to reveal the human's unmuscled body and slightly flabby breasts. but for zim, it didn't matter. all that mattered was being loved and appreciated by someone who, if the world had any sense, should have hated him. but he didn't.

dib got on top of zim and they made out on that bench, on the boardwalk. sure, there were peopel around, but hormones wait for no one. zim goosed dib's arse and dib's glasses fell off. zim could smell the pungent stench of humanity on his newfound lover but it was something he had to deal with. because the desire was too strong.

"DIB..." he said, his stomach convulsing, "... MY SQUEEDILYSPOOCH IS READY FOR YOU."

"say no more" said dib and he stood, and unzipped his jeans.

"NO," said zim, shking his head, eyes filled with lust. "NOT HERE. SOMEWHERE MORE PROIVATE... PLEASE."

"of course." dib picked zim up and they looked into each other's eyes. "anything for you."

END OF ACT II~

hey uh just a quick note, ive been to friendlys recently and they werent serving thr candy shoppe sundae... so thats inspired by true events... though no one at the table screamed over it or threatened the waiter or destroyed a sundae.


	3. Act III

act III

dib kicked the door to his room down, zim still in his arms. he ran to his bed and plopped zim down on it, who squirmed and wriggled in anticipation. he was also screaming and the entire neighborhood could hear him. gaz plugged her ears with her fingers but it was still coming through.

"what's wrong zim?!" dib asked, scared. "is it the remote?"

"NO" zim said quickly, "IRKENS SCREECH AS PART OF THE MATING RITUAL!"

"oh, okay," said dib, throwing his pants onto the floor like he was trying to squash an ant with them. "that's really annoying."

"DEAL WITH IT AND HURRY YOUR DICK UP"

"okay, okay!"

dib yanked off his y-fronts and pelted them at the wall. they were stretched out in the front from his boner. he looked down... there it was, in all its two-inch glory. dib gulped. would it be long enough to reach the remote?

he jumped on the bed and climbed on top of zim. he stared into zim's florpus for a few moments, slightly uneased by it. it was so dark inside. so deep. from within that florpus, he could hear the voices of zim's ancestors, their lives, their songs, their joys, their sorrows. he could hear weddings, fathers crying as they gave away their daughters; smeets being born and their cries filling the air, happy parents rejoicing at the new addition to their family; elders passing and leaving the room as their loved ones wept. the aural story of zim's family, from the beginning to the present day.

_when you gaze into the abyss_

_the abyss gazes into you_

"YO, HUMAN, MY EYES ARE UP HERE" said zim.

dib snapped his head back up. "sorry" he reached up to caress zim's jawline. "are... are you absolutely sure you want me, zim?"

"POSITIVE" zim said, giving a warm smile. probably the warmest, most genuine smile dib had ever seen from him. "ENTER ME NOW, DIB."

dib reached down to open up zim's fluffer, but jumped when he saw it open by itself like a swinging door, which only scared him more. still, he carefully stuck half of his pig inside.

"AAAAHHHH, DIB," zim moaned.

immediately after entering zim, the thoughts of the remote vanished from dib's mind. he began pumping his blinker back and forth a little bit, savoring every moment.

"BE CAREFUL!" zim snapped out of nowhere. "THIS IS AN INVADER'S BODY YOU ARE DEFILING WITH YOUR HUMANNESS."

"B-BEEF" said dib, engrossed in the act.

after calming down, he began actually paying attention to what he felt by his weanerhead. "i... i'm not finding it..."

"GO A LITTLE DEEPER" zim said. "IT'S IN THERE SOMEHWERE"

so dib did. they both gasped as they got closer to each other, their moans filling the house. gaz turned on the tv in the living room and cranked the volume all the way up to try and drown out the noise. a poop cola commercial was on and poop dog was breakdancing on a flattened cardboard box. backup singers sang, "POOP DOG, POOP DOG, POOPDOG-POOP DOOOOOOOOOG," to a funky beat that only made dib more aroused and he thrust in time with it. zim moaned to the brink of screaming from how hot it was and gaz clenched her fists in irritation.

dib reached up and gently felt along zim's antennae, causing the alien to let out a heated sigh. zim hadn't engaged in sex since that one time with invader zee during the great assigning, he'd called her over and offered to romance her in exchange for cutting ahead of her in line for a SIR unit and she'd agreed. but that was purely for material gain, and sex for love... was the most incredible thing he'd ever experienced, rivaled only by piloting the megadoomer.

"UGH, DIB!" zim squealed, digging his razor sharp claws into his back flesh. dib screamed in pain and ecstasy.

"have you found it yet, son?" called prof membrane from outside dib's bedroom door. gaz and gir were also there, listening. gaz understood there would simply be no escape from the sounds until it was all over.

"N-NOT YET" dib cried, before moaning loudly, so loud that his ceiling light swung wildly back and forth.

"keep reaching!"

"i'm gonna put on some romantic tunes!" said gir, and he switched over to his barry white voice chip. "_**WHEN AN ALIEN LOVES A HUMAN, A HUMAN TALL AND PALE, WHEN AN ALIEN LOVES THAT HUMAN, A ROBOT SINGS THIS TALE.**_"

"GIR!" zim snapped. "STOP THAT! IT'S MAKING EVERYONE UNCOMFORTABLE!"

"_**sorry**_" gir said before switching back to his old chip.

lunging his wongus around, dib _still wasn't feeling the remote._ "zim... ah... i think... ungh... i'll have to go balls deep"

zim gasped, throwing his head back against dib's pillow. "AGH, GIVE IT TO ME, DIB, THAT'S AN ORDER"

dib nodded, and shoved the rest of his beauty in. the arousal was more than anything he'd ever experienced and he looked into zim's eyes. "k-kiss me, zim!"

zim obliged, grabbing dib's head and pulling him in for a slow snog. as he thrusted, he finally bumped into something hard.

"i found it!" dib cried.

"good job, son!" prof membrane called. "now just press the button!"

"ah, ah, ah," dib huffed, trying to press it with each thrust, but wasn't reaching it.

"PRESS THE BUTTON, DIB!" moaned zim.

"I CAN'T DO IT! ZIM, I... I'M GONNA COME SOON!"

"DIB," zim suddenly said, reaching up to hold the human's face. dib stopped and looked at him. "YOU CAN DO IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU PURSUED ME FOR YEARS, NEVER GIVING UP... NOW, YOUR WORLD NEEDS YOU. AND IT COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER HERO."

dib smiled, and kissed zim's forehead. "buckle in, babe. i'm about to invade your florpus."

dib pulled back a bit, then rammed his weener as far into zim as it could go. zim moaned, biting his bottom lip, digging into dib. his antennae curled and uncurled with the sensations. dib thrust more and more, until he finally found the button. "ZING, BABY!"

he smacked his wanker into the button, and earth was surrounded by a flash of green light. all the children holding hands around the world screamed as zim and dib's lovemaking sent quakes through the ground. gir screeched, tears raining from his eyes, as he held onto his newly-boiled hot dog and tried to keep his balance, hoping he would still be able to look at frankfurters the same way again after this.

the planet blinked out of space, and reappeared in its old location. upon seeing the blue sky, everyone around the world cheered in happiness. then, the sky changed back to red and the armada was close by. then it was blue. red. blue. red.

prof membrane ran from the window to dib's bedroom door. "what's going on, son?!"

dib didn't answer. he was too absorbed in making love to zim, he couldn't stop his thrusting. he pressed the button several times with his weenie, teleporting the earth every time. his ceiling lamp snapped off its cable and flew onto his computer keyboard, shattering, as his testicles fell inside zim.

"SO THATS... WHY THEY CALL IT... BALLS DEEP..." the alien grunted.

the friction was high in the florpus despite how gooey the walls were, and dib was on the verge of climaxing. "UNGH, ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

"ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

"ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

"ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

"ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

"ZIM!"

"WHAT?"

but before dib could answer, his orgasm bore down on him, all the muscles in his body contracting at the same time, shooting skoodge into zim's florpus like he was filling an eclair. "YAAAHHHHHH!" his penis felt like it had exploded, but in a good way.

zim's orgasm flooded him soon after, his florpus quivering and shuddering around dib's pole like a waving towel, vibrating the human's entire body like he'd been zapped with a joy buzzer. zim relaxed into the rush, his years-long tension melting away in dib's embrace. "AAAAaaahhhhh... _dib._"

dib looked outside: the sky was red! he had pressed the button one too many times! he couldn't pull out now - he had to press it one last time.

"urngh... zim..." he said, struggling his rapidly-softening weiner up zim's florpus. "i... i don't know if i can make it!"

zim reached around to dib's hips, and smiled tiredly at him. "come on, invader dib." he pulled dib's hips as close as he could, and dib pressed himself far inside. despite his disappearing erection, he was able to just barely press the button, and the sky changed to blue again.

"we... we did it! hooray!" dib cheered, gathering zim into a hug, and they kissed. however, dib saw something move in the corner of his room, on his desk. they looked over, and saw his computer monitor was on... and agent darkbooty was there.

the leader of the swollen eyeball network had swollen eyeballs himself as he stared at the lovebirds. "i, uh... i called in, and... uh..." he turned away. "goodbye, agent mothman." the screen went black.

embarrassed, the two looked at each other, but there was no chnaging what had happened, so they moved on. they walked out of dib's room and met prof membrane, gaz, and gir.

"you did it, son!" he cried, proud. "the earth is saved!"

"hey, _i'm_ the one who got his florpus plundered," zim pointed out, annoyed.

gaz snapped, "your florpus didn't do anything. it's just a lousy freeloader."

"zim has a point, gaz" said prof membrane. "thank you so very much, zim. i'm happy dib has a friend like you."

zim blushed. "oh, i... uh... th-thank you, professor."

everyone left the house, welcomed by a crowd of cheering people. confetti rained down from helicopters overhead. children danced and sang. dogs ate meat in the street. everyone thanked dib and zim for their courageous efforts.

professor membrane hugged his son, and gaz even gave him a thumbs up - high praise from her. gir laughed and ate tuna from his foot. finally, zim looked up at dib, who smiled back at him, and the two embraced and kissed. now, the universe was their oyster.

* * *

roughly two months later, zim went out of heat, and the remote for the membracelets fell out of his florpus.

zim and dib went on to become boyfriends, and eventually married in prague. months before, when they were still dating, they even published their own alien-seeking magazine. dib wrote the articles and zim edited them so that not ttoo much info on the irkens got out ha. their magazine won many awards and they became wealthy and famous. hence how they were able to afford a wedding in prague.

eventually they wanted children but dib didn't want to deliver out his weinerschnitzel and zim feared that any babies/smeets produced would get stuck in his sticky florpus, but most problematic of all was the fact that their genes weren't compatible. prof membrane helped them with this though, and soon they had a surrogate and 7 months later (it was shorter because the babies were half irken) they had a beautiful son named diz. diz had hair and pretty much looked like a tiny zim in his wig, but without contacts. gir was very proud but one day he took diz out to a taco restaurant and ate him. and that was the baby he mentioned in the movie who he ate and zim corroborated. dib was very upset that their son was swalloed by a monster and divorced zim and became very depressed. and that is the story of how dib came to shut himself in his room and become fused to his chair.

THE END


End file.
